Now that I've gotten over the initial frustration of my thesis, I've realized that I feel like a failure now. I feel like I like this stupid paper get the best of me and now I know that I will never complete it. However, for it to be better for everyone I would be able to complete the capstone and make the best of it all. However, now I'm super excited for the spring, to complete the capstone, and hopefully move forward with all experiences in my education.
So now to press on, hope that I start to enjoy my life and job better now that I become more focused on what's important. Raising Audrey and being a family.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Welp.
So after a long week of teaching and everything, I'm just at my witts end. I cannot decide if I want to spend the next 22 years of my life doing paperwork, dealing with parents, dealing with co-workers in which I don't fit in, and dealing with all the extra stuff. I went to school to be a teacher, not to do everything else. I completely have forgotten why I wanted to do this to begin with because I have so much else to do.
Not one person in my department extends help to me in any way, I have to ask for it and even then it doesn't happen. They all think I'm just this terrible person and teacher because I don't see things there way and I'm just done. I think that this may be my last year in the classroom for a while. It's just not fair to keep putting myself through all this.
At least its Saturday and they always go by way to fast, I want to spend the days laying around with the baby but I have so much else to do---which do I choose. It's not even like I can get all the extra work done in my classroom because she'd have to go with me, I can barely clean the house, do the laundry or get anything done because I feel like I'm ignoring her.
I'm trying to work on my thesis and well gee, the only time I can get this done is now at 11 at night, which is completely sucky. I'm loosing so much sleep over everything that its making me sick. I can't handle it all anymore, wishing I could go back to three years ago and not moved here and just went on welfare like everyone else.
Not one person in my department extends help to me in any way, I have to ask for it and even then it doesn't happen. They all think I'm just this terrible person and teacher because I don't see things there way and I'm just done. I think that this may be my last year in the classroom for a while. It's just not fair to keep putting myself through all this.
At least its Saturday and they always go by way to fast, I want to spend the days laying around with the baby but I have so much else to do---which do I choose. It's not even like I can get all the extra work done in my classroom because she'd have to go with me, I can barely clean the house, do the laundry or get anything done because I feel like I'm ignoring her.
I'm trying to work on my thesis and well gee, the only time I can get this done is now at 11 at night, which is completely sucky. I'm loosing so much sleep over everything that its making me sick. I can't handle it all anymore, wishing I could go back to three years ago and not moved here and just went on welfare like everyone else.
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